BIO/PSYCHO/SPIRITUAL INTEGRATION HMS 352

HOW ONE’S PSYCHE IS PROFOUNDLY AFFECTED BY THE LACK OF SOCIAL SUPPORT, LOVE, AND AFFECTION

EUSEBIO CASTILLO

BIO/PSYCHO/SPIRITUAL INTEGRATION HMS 352

PROFESSOR GADDY

FEBRUARY 4, 2007

HOW ONE’S PSYCHE IS PROFOUNDLY AFFECTED BY THE LACK OF SOCIAL SUPPORT, LOVE, AND AFFECTION

I could not agree more with Doctor Dean Ornish and his eight Pathways to Intimacy and Health. It would be an absurd generalization on my part to label all MDs as drug pushers, without doubt make no mistake about it because many are. Honestly, Doc. Ornish wants to share with humanity more effective and efficient methods to alleviate the minds of those profoundly affected by the lack of social support, love, and affection without the use of narcotics. He conveys his studies in a practical tone level, with certainty and expertise.  I feel safe and not attacked when reading his books. I am awfully inclined toward holistic medicine so we share many similarities Doc. Ornish and I.

For as long as I can remember and since I have power of reasoning , I have never used any kind of drugs to ease my ills and  pains the same way most Caucasians and Anglo-Saxon love doing that usually a minor headache activates the worm to recur to pain killers. I am proud to announce that I am healthy and free from narcotics, and painkillers. I am an enemy of the Industry of Death which is (psychiatry) pharmaceuticals, and today the government of Indiana. I can’t allow my body to be artificially immunized by something synthetic that belongs to the art of chemistry

My life experiences define who I am today. Some are very significant that I recall vividly with eye of my mind.  As a little child, I almost didn’t receive enough social support from my parents.  Dad didn’t communicate much about life in general with me. For instance, I never knew much about him until, I was a grown up.

How, I would‘ve wished my dad  would ‘ve the knowledge to teach me, the difference between good and evil, everything love related, techniques to love one another or at least that he could had instilled on me to be affectionate to my brothers and  sisters.

I would be a lot happier if dad would have passed on to me his own life experiences. When he was socially supportive of a love one or a demonstration of his affinity toward his wife and children; lectures on how to have endurance to be victorious could have assisted me to not be timid. I would have been able to better understand myself, to overcome toils over anything in life, and the whole nine yards but I never had that.

My mother loved me but sometimes humiliated me. She concealed weapons behind a door or below the bed to inflict pain upon me. Too violent was my mother that when school assignments were a total mess, she would make me do it again; when I did not comply with the house chores or if I leave the house unauthorized that trigger her anger.

 I started working for money when I was in elementary. I sold popsicles to buy my mom’s groceries and produce such as cilantro, jalapeno peppers, onions, and tortillas but never enough for meat.

Mom and Dad were planning their breakup a day after he has been drinking and had tried to kill every one of his offspring and wife. Earlier that day Mom asked me to go get him from the street where he has been consuming alcohol with friends and whose friends intentionally mixed various types of alcoholic beverages that gave it to him to drink that it completely intoxicated him.  After, I persuaded dad to come home by clinging from his legs, he scream “go away, leave me alone, take this five pesos” said, dad.

Latter that day, dad tripped either on the way home or on the way back to his friends (honestly I don’t recall) hitting his head on a huge bolder. He laid almost death on the dirt gravel road for five minutes. His sister, Ines and mother, Adela resuscitated him with rubbing alcohol and by blowing throughout his face with a sombrero. The place got crowed it and some relatives cried out loud.  At the time of resurrection, he immediately asked for his baton that he used to keep on the edge of the house’s roof. Then, he asked his sisters, “were my wife and children,” but as soon as mom found out that dad wanted to kill every one in their family, then she fled with her family for love and survival of her children.   

1. How human relations affect health?
2. How unhealthy relationships affect our future?
3. How do we restrain or retrain from the anger?

Everything “boils to the reactive mind” said, L. Ron Hubbard, in his book Dianetics, The Modern Science of Mental Health. The unconscious mind as it is commonly called in psychology, is the sole cause of all psychosomatic illness which is (the mind making the body ill)  and my conjecture is that this mind is the mind that is dragging us to the last of all wars so we must do something about it.

How human relations really affect my health?

Perhaps, it is more significant if I quote the following statistic to see how much people in the United States suffer from psychosomatic illness, As will be stated next,  HearthMath n.d. had reported, that 75 to 90% of all visits to primary care physicians’ result from stress-related disorders (Paul Rosch, para. 3).

            According to the Durkheim Study 1897, the relationship between loneliness and suicidal, is greatly impacted by the lack of social support, love, and affection from our parents (Ornish 1999, p 37). But Many times the ups and downs in life can also be caused by our acquaintances, Hubbard wrote (1949) “a man is not victimized by his enemies but by his friends” (p.139). They are responsible for our coldness and the lack of healing because simply many of us just don’t learn to heal. Doc. Dean Ornish makes a powerful point in his book Love and Survival the subject of his research is relationships; he makes it really clear that we begin to awake to reality to become aware that we have a correlation with parents, because for the first time, parents are we spent our first years together. They are who watch, care, and love us earliest. That if something painful and injurious happened to you was because lacked the strength of love and care from your parents. The Harvard Mastery of Stress Study’s objective was the relationship between students and parents which results indicated that the warmer the relationships the healthier the individual (Ornish, 1999, p. 34).  

In the United States especially in Oregon is quite difficult for me to have real friends. I mean worthy, meaningful, everlasting, and fully caring for one another. Interpersonal relationships were rough when I was an adolescent. According to The Scotland Study “ those who were diagnosed with lung cancer tended to have more disturbed interpersonal relationships and had  particular difficulty in expressing their emotions, especially those involving intimate relationships” (Ornish, 1999.  p. 37).

History of Pickwick

From childhood, I was a farmer in Mexico and dad sent me to pasture our sheep.  I would not bring out lunch, fresh potable water with me. And, I worked for long hours under the heat and obviously many times was affected with stomach cramps. I lay on the floor and began to roll over holding my visceral trying to ease the pain. Who cares for the sheep in moments of delirium?  I does not recall, when or how I went home, but at my arrival, grandma who was the nurse and midwife of the village took care of me.  She knew lots of home remedies and really knew how to assist people of all ages. From assisting a mother in giving birth to her baby to purging her body from postpartum. Grandma grabbed a huge metal silver syringe to inject me an intravenous solution. If a sharp, piercing tail of a scorpion sting one her grandsons she injected an alcohol intravenous to the boy. She was an incredible grandma. Today she is approximately one hundred and seven years old and lives in Tula, Tepexi, Puebla.

Grandma consumed palo dulce (sweet three); it is a medicinal three with a white bark. People boil the bark of this tree because they extract a pinkish juice that they administer to purge animals and people. From childhood, I always had a rotten luck, I always suffered from various illnesses such as appendicitis, dysentery, insects bites, dogs’ bites, fall from horses, and even witnessed fired at point-blank amongst the people of my village.

  I am very timid to go back to re-experience those kinds of moments in my mind. My parents never wanted me to suffer; they loved me to the best of their ability. When parents have their first baby, they lacked skills, experience, and tolerance.  My fathers were farmers and had not schooling where to learn the basics for love and survival. It was really hard for them to give me a healthy rearing. Free me from unhealthy relations that would affect my wellness, mind, and soul. Mom and dad tried really hard so their son could have peritonitis surgery; however, the doctor chose not to perform it, they don’t remember the technicality but the problem was solved later with home remedies.

            When I was about fifteen, my family was in need of abundance of social support. The Mexican economy was in real bad shape 1970.  I chose to go ahead to look for ways to financially assist my parents. By his own efforts, he got a job with cousin Jacobo. He owns a factory of onyx tables. Honestly the factory belongs to Uncle Felix, causing Alberto, and Dad.  In fact they are the founders. Jacobo a causing of mind has robbed, chit, and lie to the founders of the company. He had transferred the documents in his name.  The entrepreneurial here was my uncle Felix and he asked his brother Daniel Alejandro to be part of the business but dad did not have enough funds for this risk- taking business; however, Felix persuaded his brother to sell some cattle and that was how he became part of this joint venture. Dad invited his nephew Alberto, to come on board. The triad was now embarking on an unknown journey; they knew zero about business, management, and mathematics. All will turn out bad in the end, Jacobo kept the company, even when it didn’t belong to him. Uncle Feliz and Dad are still not talking to him after three decades.  So this brings me to the point of Roseto’s study were, the researchers wondered if Roseto’s stable structure, its emphasis on family cohesion, and the supportive nature of the community may have been protective against heart attacks and conducive to longevity…this loosening of family ties and weakening of the community in Roseto was accompanied by a substantial increase in death due to hard attacks” (Ornish, 1999, p. 41). I can’t say dad and uncle will live as long as grandma because cousin Alberto passed away three years ago of cirrhosis.       

However, I remained working for my causing Jacobo because I was been pay. Most employees at this company are relatives. Ruben a relative of mine instigated me, “go see your girlfriend by the lagoon, she is with Louis” indeed by the time I got there he was already with her. Nor I have ever asked Irene out neither she was my official girlfriend. Also, I don’t know whether Louis was her official boyfriend.  Louise through me into the cactuses and I fell flat on my back. My body received a lot of bruises and several scars by the blows of his fist. However, the point that I want to get across, is if it had not been for Ruben’s instigation because he said that my girlfriend was already being kissed by another man at the lake then we would have never fought each other. It is true unhealthy relationships can end up killing you. 

How do we restrain or retrain from the anger?

            As a young kid, anger and rage were conspicuous so anecdotes of unhealthy relationships are plentiful. Adam and I are getting back home from school. He and I hated and beat up each other for no reason. Whenever we run into each other we would harm each other.  Today, I sit to reflect upon those kinds of incidents that brought me bad karma. I used to wonder why I had such an unhealthy rearing. I didn’t comprehend why of my Ire as a kid.

 I traveled to Mexico 1988; the farmers were inaugurating a water pump and a deep excavation was been dugout because they just found water in dad’s property. Adan’s parents were invited at the celebration so I took the opportunity to send my apologist to him via his parents. When were kids, his parents always came to my home trying to discuss with dad, why was I engage in striking his son?  I don’t think he hates me yet it has been about thirty years since I have last spoke to him. I don’t keep any resentment toward him and I am sure that he has forgiven me. Why we used to fight and who was the instigator? We would never know.

How unhealthy relationships affect your future?

Around in 1980-1982 while attending preparatory school in Puebla City, I met a classmate in one of my classes. He invited me to move into his home and I accepted. He volunteered his time to come help me to pick up my blankets, books and other stuff to take me to his home using his Renault car.

Once I was living in his home, I was like a brother to him. We went out always together. On one occasion he invited me to go visit his mother who was in a hospital resting after surgery. She was pallid, about forty years old, and attractive. I never inquired upon her illness. Cesar introduced me to his mother and then we went back home. Cesar had two sisters: Virginia and Melissa and three brothers whose names I don’t recall. I only recall his sister Virginia because she used to feed me every morning when I went to school. She was very social as opposed to his oldest brother who at one point while I was working for him, a police officer came to try to take off of his truck his license plates  because he parked on the non-parking area. In Mexico in those days if you park at the wrong area, transit officers just take off your plates. They used to carry a set of screw drivers.  Any way going back to the previous story, Cesar’s oldest brother struggled with police for the license plates.  Both were stocky but the police cut him in his face with the sharp edge of the plates and I am witnessing this.

            To make ends meet, I had to go work with Cesar’s oldest brother. He sold enormous cheeses throughout the Nordic Sierras of Puebla. It was a par time job but it paid for my school supplies. Also, I exchange work for rent. They never asked me for money but I never wanted them to be angry at me so I tried to keep the books straight. Sometimes, if the cheese business was slow, Cesar had a light & sound business that he rented it to all kinds of parties. He was a DJ and I assisted him.

            At one of these gatherings, I was introduced to Martha. She and I hanged out together for sometime and then we fell in love. After a while, Martha introduced me to her mother but never to her father. He was a firefighter and he was never home. Yet, the mother and brothers new of our relationship and I could come to her home daily If I wanted to. Martha became my official girlfriend from now on. Nevertheless, something inopportune happened a day that I went to pick up Martha, I knocked on the door and her mother opened it, I asked, is Martha here? But her mother said that she just stepped out and that she might be at Paseo Bravo Park. I head out in that direction and unfortunately a block away from home she was kissing and hugging another man and wearing the clothes, I bought her. I came closer and I told Martha why you do this to me? I slapped her on her face for treason.  The guy was older and chunky, immediately right after the confrontation he wanted to fight me yet a friend of mine was passing by so he assisted me to kick him out. Martha said, “is your fault” but what happens was that I used to work for a liquor store; it occurs to Martha to come place a visit at my work. One that day some thieves came to my store to still wine bottles, snacks, and money at gun point. A little while after my incident Martha appears at my work asking me, “can you come with me to the 8^th avenue, I need to go buy some eggs” honestly, I was not having an enjoyable day and I think I told her, something like “do not bother me or I can’t go” she left but when I got out from work I went to look for her and it was when I found her with the other idiot.

My memories are many, but I realized that they were not wholly healthy; I always thought   I could do better in life. Even if my immediate life wasn’t wholly good, I am not alone. The Even Better Study posits, “we can’t change what happened to us in our childhood or adolescence, but we need to do so.  By working on mechanisms such as nutrition, behavior, perceptions of situations and solutions, stability, and healthy relationships, support, spiritual, values, and practices (Ornish 1999, p 38).

Relationships between human beings is established when you are sincere; when you are truth to your friends; when opening your hearth and trust of  the other sentient being that wants to have a connection with you is present. (Ornish, 1999, p. 39).

I would like to end off with the following quote; Schopenhauer was contrary to Doc. Ornish’s research and discoveries because Schopenhauer defended, “that humankind was driven by desire, as well as the forces of nature, are manifestations of a single will, specially the will to live, which is the essence of the World. Schopenhauer asserted that since operation of the will means constant striving without satisfaction, life consists of suffering and that only by controlling the will through the intellect, by suppressing the desire to reproduce, can suffering be diminished” (Hubbard, 1992, p.139) But he is saying loneliness and Doc. Ornish is saying, but what are friends for better yet how do we have those friends without procreation? Schopenhauer was advocating a wrong doctrine impossible to live by you yourself on planet earth. You would need 8 pathways to Intimacy and Health.

References

Hubbard L. (1992). Dianetics, The Modern Science of Mental Health. LA: Bridge Pub.

Ornish D, MD (1998). Love and Survival: 8 Pathways t o Intimacy and Health. NY. NY. Harper

            Collins Publisher

Institute of HeartMath. (2007). Emotional Balance and Health Retrieved Feb. 2 2007 from